Alone but not Lonely

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Hebrews 13:5, ESV

I’m a bona fide extrovert. However, it doesn’t mean that I always like being around people. But I do enjoy hanging out and being actively involved when possible. In this season of life as an empty nester—it has had surprisingly difficult moments.

I had to get used to a quiet home—waking up to quiet, going to sleep in quiet, working in quiet. When I was growing up as the oldest of six kids, I was always searching for my own space and never really found it. When I was married and raising 5 children, I also found myself sneaking away early in the morning to gather my thoughts before the influx of activity. As a single mom, I was the only one who did all the running for practices, games, school, and church events so I never felt the quiet.

That is, until after my youngest graduated from college—I took the giant leap of retiring from my corporate job to working as a freelance writer, speaker, and teacher. Being who I am—I do nothing on a small scale. I chose to move a few states away from where I lived my entire life. I made this big move to enjoy a more nature-like environment with the beautiful mountains and warmer climate.

The real test came when an unexpected snowstorm in the South kept me alone and isolated for over a week. My spiritual and emotional psyche was stretched as I felt very much alone. Because I made the move with much prayer, fasting, and reflection—I knew it was still the right thing to do. Yet, doubts and second guessing were flooding my mind daily. I thought about pulling out my basketball and naming it ‘Wilson’ even though I think its real name was ‘Spalding’.

However, I used this time to lean into God like never before. I made myself keep to a routine of prayer, scripture reading, church related activities, and working out. While it took a few months, I realized I was becoming less lonely even though I was still physically alone most days. I began to feel God’s presence more succinctly and hear His voice more clearly not only in my daily devotions, but throughout the day.

I’m approaching two years since I first made the big move, and I don’t have everything figured out. I’m still learning about my new space and people. I’m building my platform, teaching at local colleges, and keeping myself actively involved without overloading my schedule. It’s a beautiful time of my life to rest, read, write, and figure out this next adventure. I’m grateful for my alone alone time as it has significantly brought me full circle in my calling for this season of my life. It's like God changed my spiritual DNA that I'm loving my alone time and I don't feel so lonely anymore.