Got Trust Issues?

“Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will act.”

Psalm 37:5, ESV

It’s crazy that I sometimes struggle with trust issues in God. I tend to project the disappointment I’ve had with other people onto Him. Truth is, whenever I start to spiral downward into my doubts and fear, I often hear the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit saying, “Trust Me.”

When I was pregnant with my first child, I felt the leading of the Spirit to quit my job and stay at home to raise my son. When I sat and thought about this revelation, I immediately felt all the questions flood in: how is this supposed to work? How am I going to pay off all my student loans? What if we can’t make ends meet? Amid all these thoughts, I saw a vision of myself walking across a tightrope and God saying, “I’m your net”.

Fast forward over 30 years, and God always caught me when circumstances shook me off the tightrope. I was caught when I miscarried a child, when my marriage ended, when I was the single mom and sole provider of my five kids, and when I struggled with my singleness. He never failed me even though I failed Him.

Yet with all the miracles and breakthroughs, I still have trust issues. Why? Because I’m human and sadly forgetful. I continue to believe in the God of the impossible. I may struggle with trust, but I still move forward in faith even if I’m trembling. I refuse to let doubt or fear inhibit my faith in God. Because of whose I am (and basically how God made me)—I continue to hear from God and compelled to follow where He leads regardless of the task.

So yes…my trust issues will probably follow me to the grave. However, my obedience to follow where He leads is strengthened day by day, test by test, and victory to victory.