Suddenly Single

“I am like a lonely sparrow on the housetop.”

(Psalm 102:7, ESV)

Being suddenly single isn’t easy for most of us. We struggle with the absence of daily conversations and connections. We also may struggle with the loss of physical activity in our relationships. The overwhelming temptation is to quickly fill the emotional and physical gaps with someone else to alleviate the pain of separation. However, there’s an amazingly infinite number of messed-up relationships due to the rebound reflex.

I was with one individual for almost 30 years of my adult life including dating and marriage. When I found myself suddenly single, I still had the primary sole responsibility of taking care of my five children. Even with the endless barrage of kid and young adult activities including middle school, high school, college, and military service—I was struggling with my newfound singleness.

Due to the deep wounds from a lengthy relationship, I knew I was not ready for dating. I also didn’t want to jump into a relationship when my children were desperately struggling with the divorce. However, these wise intentions didn’t alleviate my struggles with being suddenly single. I had to cope with it because I didn’t want to repeat the mistakes of my past and drag my children down the road of my bad decisions.

How did I manage contentment in my sudden singleness?

#1) 1 Peter 5:7 – I turned to God and shared everything that was on my heart including my desires and disappointments. I released my feelings through prayer and writing in journals.

#2) Proverbs 20:10 – I sought out wise counsel from therapy and small groups that focused on divorce and separation issues.

#3) Ecclesiastes 5:20 – I balanced my life with social and physical activities that I enjoyed so that my life wasn’t all work and single parenting.

What I realized is that for followers of Christ, He makes Himself overwhelmingly available to those who reach out to Him first for wisdom, strength, and the power to move forward without their significant other.

Looking back…I made some mistakes for sure. Yet, because of my relationship with God—I was protected by His roadblocks in my life. My suddenly single lifestyle has been a beautiful time of reflection, renewal, and getting ready for God to show my next…